When Doubts Surface

What do you do when you doubt yourself? Whatever the dream is, many of us doubt ourselves at some point. I always doubt myself. But, then, having been average in most things and never having really tried to push past my boundaries (for most of my life anyway), doubting is pretty natural.

One thing I’ve heard from everyone aspiring to become a writer (or author anyway as lately I’ve heard that if you can write then you’re a writer) is that they doubt themselves.

It seems to be a common trait even among the super famous continually best-selling authors.

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“I WILL be published.”

This is what I tell people. Am I talking to them? Perhaps. Perhaps my eyes are directed at them and I’m answering their question. But are my words directed at them? Usually not.

I say this because I think if I say it enough times with enough force, my doubts will lessen. Maybe even go away.

Until my husband decided to give me his backing and support, I couldn’t even say I was a writer without feeling self-conscious. Inwardly I’d condemn myself as a liar and I knew that everyone knew it. Yes, despite writing all the time and working on a MS and getting some short stories published, I still could not in good conscience call myself a writer.

Perhaps this had somewhat to do with the looks people gave me which I interpreted as “Slacker. Get a real job.” Oddly enough, I got a lot of the same looks when I’d tell people I was a stay-at-home mom.

Stephen King feel lousy

Or, even worse, excitement and the dreaded question, “What have you written?” Followed by disappointment and that previously mentioned look. By the way, I get the same look when I say I blog. Since I’m not all professional with my blogging I don’t call myself a blogger but I do consider this to be a part of my work.

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These days my doubts are pretty minor because my husband is supporting me. He said he always expected me to get a job and make money but he noticed all the jobs I was able to get weren’t career jobs. This was a foreign concept for him. Why wasn’t I able to make a career out of anything? Why couldn’t I get better jobs?

The answer to that is pretty simple – the economy fizzled and the job market turned to stinky poop. Also, I wasn’t trained for career-type jobs and nobody would hire anyone without experience.

He concluded that what he considered normal career-type jobs weren’t appropriate for me. My passion lay with writing so I had better become a writer.

My Translation: You’re not cut out for other jobs so you’d better focus on this.

Ooookay! Works for me!

Asimov quote

What do you say to quiet your doubts or do you let your doubts rage?

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About Katie St. John-Shin

I believe in living life and not letting it pass you by. I mean, come on, if you really want to do something but don't have the courage to do it so you let the opportunity disappear, you may regret it for the rest of your life. How can you know what you're capable of unless you go for it? Like every writer, I naturally plan on becoming a world-famous writer. I love reading, writing, fitness, coffee, watching my favorite movies/shows, listening to music, and trying new things even if they're sometimes terrifying. I'm a stay-at-home mom, a writer, and a POP Pilates instructor. I didn't think I'd succeed at that last one but I did it! I confronted my fears, dealt with things I didn't want to deal with, and completed the training! POP Pilates classes are coming soon to mid-Nebraska!
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2 Responses to When Doubts Surface

  1. YoursTruly says:

    Hey, we’re sharing a boat! That’s been our situation for years, except that my husband doesn’t make enough to support our expenses anymore. 😦 The rental price here goes up $100 every year (at least)…which means a person has to make an extra 58 cents an hour every year just to off-set housing costs (not to mention the cost of raising in the minimum wage, inflation, and blah blah blah). He only gets a 30-cent raise every year, and that’s the top of his bracket. After eight years of that, we just can’t make ends meet without a second job anymore. After months and months and MONTHS of me applying to jobs with only a single interview for a job I didn’t get, he’s going to try for a second job and I’m going back to school to get a different, employable set of skills. Heck, he’s probably going to have to do that, too, and he has a Master’s degree, for pity’s sake.

    I’m so glad your husband decided to start supporting your writing! Even if it took him a while to come around. 🙂 It makes such an enormous difference, doesn’t it?

    • It does make a difference! I thought I could do it by myself and maybe I could have but this is so much better. I’m so much more confident now!

      I’m sorry about the rent and paycheck. I know how it feels. The apt we had before the last one did the same thing. Except that apt totally wasn’t worth the rent. Nor was the quality of their maintenance. 😛 ah well. We’re done with that so that’s that. This too will pass. 😉

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