Unexpected Hiatus and Being Verbally Stupid

I had my post all ready to be posted last week but never got around to it because my son got sick. I’m talking vomiting and fever. Granted, the vomiting wasn’t all that bad and didn’t last long but that is hardly the point. They happened mainly at night after everyone had fallen asleep so we lived in fear for 3 days that he might have another episode. 2 of those nights had me washing bedding at midnight while hopped up on Benedryl.

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Fun times.

But now my son is cool and, while not healthy because he now has a runny nose and a cough, healthy enough to get out again so I’m able to take him to internet places to get my blogging done.

Here’s what I had intended to post last week…

Why is it whenever I have the opportunity to speak with people about the intelligent things I like, I become a verbal moron. My thoughts scatter like dandelion seeds blowing in the wind and I can’t get an intelligent thought out. Then when I’m alone my thoughts coalesce back into coherency and I hold conversations with myself that are both well thought out and insightful. At least, I think they’re insightful. For the truly intelligent person, I have no doubt that I fall decidedly short of the mark, but that’s neither here nor there.

What’s important is that I went to a dinner last night and, for the first time, met someone who was interested in mythology. I had the opportunity to talk about my Greek and Norse work with someone who was genuinely interested and I blew it. I stuttered and couldn’t get my thoughts straight and was, in general, a lame conversant. Then this morning when I thought about it again, I flew into a huge monologue about what I should have said.

Verbally, I am stupid. If you come up to talk to me, you’ll find me very quiet and lacking most conversational topics. Generally speaking I mean. There are some people I click with and our conversations can be long and easy but those connections are rare. I’m not including family in this – they’re different and I have very little reservation in talking their ears off.

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My main problem is that I don’t want to bore people. Someone asks me how my writing’s going and I want to launch into every detail about Norse culture and mythology because I think it’s fascinating and I want to share it with them, but I don’t think they want to hear it so I don’t.

Or they ask me a question that requires thought and consideration and I need time to formulate my answer, but I don’t have that time with them staring me in the face. My brain goes blank then and I can think of nothing.

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It’s a problem that has hounded me ever since childhood much to the annoyance of every single one of my teachers. Leave me to think for a while and I can give a well-planned written response, but ask me to my face and expect a verbal answer right then and there and you’ll get rubbish.

Even a timed essay would result in a better answer than my verbal ones. And, yes, I failed debate in high school. My grade was good only due to the rest of the speeches I had to give.

Here’s something completely off-topic…Since I’ve been surfing the internet looking at funny pics way too much lately, I’ve decided to occasionally add one that I’ve found that’s super cute or funny or whatever. Enjoy!

This is how I was feeling the last couple weeks…

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About Katie St. John-Shin

I believe in living life and not letting it pass you by. I mean, come on, if you really want to do something but don't have the courage to do it so you let the opportunity disappear, you may regret it for the rest of your life. How can you know what you're capable of unless you go for it? Like every writer, I naturally plan on becoming a world-famous writer. I love reading, writing, fitness, coffee, watching my favorite movies/shows, listening to music, and trying new things even if they're sometimes terrifying. I'm a stay-at-home mom, a writer, and a POP Pilates instructor. I didn't think I'd succeed at that last one but I did it! I confronted my fears, dealt with things I didn't want to deal with, and completed the training! POP Pilates classes are coming soon to mid-Nebraska!
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